Do you know how to take a compliment?
5 minute read
The first thoughts I had when I woke up Wednesday morning:
What time is it? Ahhhhh it’s 7:53am! I’m such a jerk! Gup has been up with the kids since 6:30. Ugh what is wrong with me? Why can’t I GET UP. Ugghhhh why did I eat all of that junk last night? Ugh, I’m disgusting.
Y’all!
I wish I could say this was a rare occurrence, but I’d be lying. More often than not, I’m beating myself up from sun up to sun down without even realizing it.
Anybody feel me?
When my dad was here a few weeks ago, he would give me a compliment, and I would immediately negate it with something “funny” but also just dumb. He got pretty fed up with it, and for good reason. Just take the dang compliment!
One problem: I have no idea how to take a compliment. Do you?
In this world of hyperbole and exaggeration, a simple thank you either doesn’t seem like enough or it seems braggadocious. Take this scene from Mean Girls for example...
Regina: But you’re, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you’re really pretty?
Cady: Oh… I don’t know.
Gosh I love that movie.
But really - What is this? Why do I/we do this?
I’ll admit I cannot stand a braggart - who can?! - Aside from the occasional “Mom’s the best! Say it with me! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!” when I win Candyland for the 11th time and my son is crying in a corner - wait, what? I would never do that.
…………….
Anywayyyyyy, aside from silly “at home” bragging, I hope I would never, ever (nor would you probably) sit around and praise myself.
So why do I sit around and gut punch myself?
Is there a difference?
It’s not secret I love this quote from The Freedom of Self-forgetfulness by Tim Keller: “... the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.”
So really there’s a difference in rhetoric, but it’s the same subject: Me-me-me-me-me. (Say that again and act like you’re warming up your vocal chords - it’s fun.)
So how do we do this? What does the Bible have to say about how to think of ourselves less?
Maybe first we need to get a right view of self according to Scripture:
1. We are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fearfully and wonderfully. Those are some big adjectives guys. The verse goes on to say, “Your works are wonderful; I know that full well.” Ponder that for a minute. We are wonderfully made (by HIM), and His works are wonderful. Ifsofacto - you are wonderful! By HIS hand, you are wonderfully made AND you are wonderful!
2. We were knit together in our mother’s womb.
Knit together! How intricate. What care!
3. God’s eyes saw your unformed body; all the days ordained for you were written in His book before one of them came to be.
He knew us first. He knew YOU first. He already knows your tomorrows too.
4. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
We are created in God’s image. This has always been tricky for my small brain. Let’s break it down:
A. God of the Universe (who makes no mistakes) created you.
B. When He did this, He made you to look like Him. He is the model. He is the mold.
C. This means both the craftsman and the pattern are God.
D. In sum, the God who makes no mistakes created you to bear His image. To reflect himself through you.
I know what you’re thinking: But I look nothing like God! I’m a mess! TRUE. Me too. BUT by accepting His forgiveness and grace in all our shortcomings, we in turn REFLECT HIM.
So really it never is about looking the best or being the best since He already is. It’s about looking more like Him, EVEN in our shortcomings. When we take our eyes off our yuck and place them on Him, we cannot help but reflect Him.
As image bearers of God, this also means we have the capacity within us (if we are in Christ) to turn from our sins. It is so hard and we will fail, but we are capable because He is capable. When we exercise the muscle within us to turn from sin, it gets stronger, and our reflection of Him grows a little brighter.
Does this help you see yourself a little better? I think it helps me. It certainly humbles me and makes me worship.
So now that we’ve (hopefully) got a better understanding of how to rightly view ourselves, how do we think of ourselves less?
By thinking of God more.
K. Cool answer Mary Clay. Thanks for the easily attainable wisdom. Bye.
Stay with me!
We talked about this last night in small group. We were reflecting on life exactly a year ago when Covid hit Fort Worth, and we all were homebound. (Pausing for PTSD to subside - you back? K good me too).
While we all agreed we’re O-V-E-R the co-co, the forced slow down was such a gift. One of the sweet souls mentioned how she would eat her breakfast outside without her phone and just listen to the birds and take notice of the intricacies of a leaf on the ground… noticing God’s goodness without even trying!
Another wise soul mentioned how we’ve now got to prioritize this thinking and make it a discipline. We have to die to the urge to take our phone, to hurry through breakfast, to do the next task on the coveted to-do list.
Again though HOW do we think less of ourselves and more of God?
Recognize it’s a discipline to Seek Him First and notice His goodness. Exercise it. Prioritize it just like you prioritize your workout routine or your hair appointments.
Stay in constant communication with Him throughout the day. Before you take the call, on your way to pick up the kids, while doing dishes for the 1100th time - commune with Him. He’s always listening!
Be confident the God of the Universe created you on purpose, for a purpose, and that purpose is to glorify Him. This is a big deal! You’re a big deal because He is a big deal, and only because of that! We are priests. We are image bearers. We are salt and light. Let’s start living like it!
Maybe in putting these things into practice, it will become a lot easier to take a compliment. Maybe the more time we spend focusing on God, the more second nature it will be to see the compliment directed towards Him - not toward us. Heck, maybe this is why it feels weird to begin with??! Like I don’t feel worthy of this compliment. Duh, because you’re not. But He is. And He made you. So take the dang compliment and give glory to God by saying THANK YOU and moving on with your life.
Taking it full circle, when those hateful thoughts mentioned above creep in in the morning, I’m going to make a conscious effort to exercise the muscle of denouncing the lies and filling them with His truth. This makes the morning thoughts look something like this:
“What time is it? Ahhhhh it’s 7:53am! Wow. What a blessing to have a husband who is completely capable of getting the kids going in the morning to let me sleep. I’m so grateful for him! That was fun eating cake with him in the kitchen last night. Today God will you help me make some healthier choices to nourish my body, not punish it, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made? Annnnd here I go into the day, God. You’re up!”
Totally Pollyanna’d that morning convo^^^, but if it takes the focus off ME, I’ll take it.
Father God, YOU alone are worthy of our thought life. Your ways are so much higher than ours, and you never, ever stop working. You’re working all things for our good and your glory. Help us remember that! Forgive me for beating myself up. Forgive the person reading this for it too. Help us see ourselves as you do so we can remember we are YOUR image bearers. What a compliment above all compliments. We’re made to look like YOU! Lead us not into temptation today. Cover us in your armor, and keep the lies from the enemy at bay. You are the victor and the creator! Help us notice your goodness - let us get even one degree closer to noticing your goodness throughout the day. We love you! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Scripture for the week:
Sunday/Monday: Ephesians 2:4-10; 1 Peter 2:9
Tuesday: Psalm 57:2; Philippians 1:6
Wednesday: Matthew 6:33
Thursday: Ephesians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Friday: Isaiah 55:8-9
Saturday: Matthew 6:25-29