Judgy McJudgerson + Bouncy McBouncerson
4 minute read
I’ve written on pride before, and in my pride I felt like that was enough, but here’s the thing with the P word: it’s a daily death. Minute by minute honestly. Almost all broken roads are paved in pride.
This past week, Crawford and I went on an incredible ski trip - just the two of us. It was magical and so much fun and all the things, but do you know what pops up a whole lot while skiing?
Yep. PRIDE.
Ol’ Peezy got me right out the gate in the ski rental shop in fact. It went a little something like this...
Gup has always told me to say that I’m an expert on the ski level assesment so I can get Demo skis. So I did that, and then my wing man (Gup) left to grab something from the hotel room while I finished my rental situation.
So cute, young, arrogant ski rental guy sees my form and sort of stares at me.
“How many times have you skied this year?”
Immediately feeling judged when honestly, maybe he’s just making conversation?? I spout off, “Three.” and then I backpedal. “Wait do you mean this season? Or like this calendar year? Because it’s been 3 times in a calendar year, but 2 times this season.”
Silence.
Gah shutUP Mary Clay and stop blowing your Expert cover.
“So do you want Demos?”
Here’s my moment, and I falter. “What’s the difference?” I ask - fully meaning the price not the difference in the skis, and honestly I don’t even know why I asked. Crawford usually just does the ski talking for me - he lived in Aspen as a valet for a year and speaks Bro fluently - so I’m really just a fish out of water. Clearly floundering.
So then he starts explaining Demo skis to me (and you can imagine his tone), and I want to scream, I know what Demo skis are you punk - I meant the price because I’m wiser than you and I know what a budget is, and I’m trying to be responsible, something you clearly have no idea how to be, but instead I just say, “Yes, I want Demos.”
He does the assessment stare again, and then grunts as he has to measure my foot. He silently walks back and half-tosses the boots at me before returning to his throne of Off Mountain Ski-Skill Assessment.
Watching me again.
I’m panicked even though I’ve put ski boots on over 100 times. I buckle them up, and I look over at him, praying I did it right, and I say, “They’re good.”
Silence.
So then he takes the other boot and sort of leaves me sitting there with my one boot on, and I have lost all remembrance of how to be a human in a ski shop, but something tells me I can take the boot off, so I do. Then I walk over to him and set the foot measuring thing on top of his throne, and he immediately stops what he’s doing and harrumphs as he places it UNDER the throne on the ground.
Gahhhhh how could you be so stupid?!
About this time, Gup returns, and I assume the role of Silent Bob. We grab the skis, poles, boots and walk upstairs to pay.
Here’s where we meet Bouncy McBouncerson -- Judgy McJudgerson’s co-worker.
(While bouncing), “Yeah so what days you skiing man?”
Gup: Tomorrow and Wednesday.
Bouncy: Yeah, well I gotta charge you for 2.5 days.
Gup: Umm why? It’s 3:30pm.
BB: Yeah, well our mountain doesn’t close until 6:30pm.
Gup: We’re not skiing your mountain. We’re skiing Jackson Hole.
BB: Yeah sorry man.
Gup: Can you just put them aside, and we’ll come pick them up at 6:30... and pay for 2 days?
(Still Bouncing): Yeah but I can’t guarantee someone won’t take them.
Gup: I’ll take my chances.
Mic drop.
So here’s my question: Who’s the most prideful person in these scenarios?
A) Judgy
B) Me
C) Bouncy
D) Gup
The answer is B and here’s why.
A few years ago I was struggling through postpartum depression and anxiety (though never admitting it), and we were having a particularly hard time juggling my emotions with incredibly eager and opinionated grandparents. I remember reading my Bible begging for clarity and vividly hearing the Holy Spirit say, “Their calculations are not your concern.”
This applies to just about every sticky situation I get myself into in life, and while I know it’s not straight out of Scripture, it definitely aligns with God’s heart so I’m sharing it with you again.
“Their calculations are not your concern.”
Even with side-eyes from Judgy, I really don’t know what he’s thinking of me, and it shouldn’t be my concern! In my pride though, it was. I cared deeply about appearing cool and ept and worthy of my Demos dangit.
I have no idea what anybody’s else’s motives are, and we have to operate life as such. It stings and it’s annoying, but shouldn’t our main concern always be God’s opinion? God’s thoughts? God’s motives?
And what are those?
God’s thoughts, motives, and opinions are higher than ours, and they’re always working for good. We know He is a good father who is for us, not against us, and we can trust Him! He is our strong tower, our hiding place, our refuge, our defender, our protector.
So if that’s the truth, and I believe it is with all my heart, why do I have to be such a do-do wrapped up in pride and other people’s opinions of me?
Because I’m broken and silly and I need a Savior every dang day. And so do you.
Had I been focused on Christ’s opinion of me and on His love for both me and Judgy, I could’ve asked questions without fear and focused on being joyful and grateful - not on being cool or worthy of a person’s opinion of me I will likely never, ever see again in my life.
Pride is so sneaky, it even comes dressed as self-pity sometimes. It comes dressed as a well-meaning friend dropping off dinner who then pouts because she didn’t get a text exclaiming how good the meal was. It comes as an employee putting in over-time only to feel jaded and miffed for lack of recognition. It’s expecting your spouse to read your mind and getting mad when they don’t. Pride comes in holding your head super high over your used, beat up car because you don’t have car payments, and they do. It comes in backhanded compliments, lies - even little white ones - it comes in arrogance and it comes in impatience.
(All of these are me btw ^).
If you’re as sick of your pride as I am, what do we do about it?
You already know the answer, and I’m sorry it’s not sexy, but it’s dang TRUE.
We read the Bible, we believe it to be inerrant truth, and we stop thinking we know better than God’s word. We confess, and we pray for help, believing He can and will help us.
What does His word tell us about pride?
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Prov 16:18
God hates pride and arrogance. Prov 8:13
Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, He will not go unpunished. Prov 16:5
Last week at church, our Pastor discussed how we’re living in a Post-modern, Post-truth world. This essentially means a huge chunk of our population believes anyone can find the truth because it lives inside of us.
I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a big hairball of pride (disguised as truth) that needs to be coughed up and spit out. The more I know about myself, the more I know how much the truth has nothing to do with anything my flesh thinks is right. I am broken and prideful, but I have a loving Father who sent His son to die for all of my mess. Past, present, and future.
And because He did that, I can try my darndest to obey Him and love Him and seek His approval first. Not man’s. Not my own.
His!
Father God, you are so good, so merciful, and so full of grace. You see our yuck, and maybe you laugh, maybe you cry, but you still love us. God I confess my prideful heart! Whoosh, it’s so sticky it’s in every crevice of my life. I need you to keep helping me see it and dig it all out Lord. Give us your eyes, your ears, your heart! As we step into this new week, will you please gently start to root out our prideful habits and help us humbly hand them over to you? I’ll admit I’m scared. I get nervous you’ll take things from me I don’t want to give up, but then I remember your ways are higher than mine, and you work all things for good for those who are called according to your purpose. Thank you for your love and understanding, Father God! Without you, we are nothing. With you, we are strong. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Scripture for the week:
Sunday/Monday: Psalm 139:23-24
Tuesday: Prov 16:18, Jeremiah 17:7-8
Wednesday: Romans 8:26-28
Thursday: Jeremiah 29:11
Friday: Romans 8:31
Saturday: Phil 1:21