Are you helping or torturing?
3 minute read
Two nights ago just seconds after putting the children down for bed, we heard a creak on the hallway hardwood. This is typically 3 year old Cecca’s bit, so I was warming up for no, you actually don’t need a band-aid or medicine or another story or another song combat, but this time it was Field… and he was crying.
Scream-crying actually.
“My eye, my eye!”
The child has criminally long eyelashes, so the occurrence of one getting stuck in his eyeball happens at least quarterly, and his reaction is typically the same:
a) He thinks he’s dying
b) He thinks we are torturing him when we try to help
While Reaction A is obviously a stretch to the adult mind, Reaction B I can understand because it goes a little something like this:
Me: You wanna hold his arms down or me?
Gup: I got him.
Me: Ok I’ll get the eye.
Even though he’s now done this song and dance a handful of times, to a child, this 100% sounds like torture!
We know from experience that in order to get the eyelash out, Gup or I have to wrap our arms around him to keep his arms down, and because he is squirmy and lanky, the pressure is akin to that of a straight jacket.
After the pin down comes phase 2: The eyelash hunt.
This package comes complete with a quick hand wash from the hunter, (sometimes – depends on the level of scream-crying) and is followed by prying the eyeball open with one hand on the top lid, one hand on the bottom lid.
Then comes coaching.
Gup: Can you look up?
Field: AHHH WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!!!!
Gup: Can you look at mom?
Field: AHHH NO! I CAN’T SEE! I CAN’T SEE! OH WHY, WHY, WHYYYYYY?!
Somewhere amidst Field’s Broadway audition and dad’s patient coaching, the eyelash typically appears hooked and curled somewhere STILL ATTACHED TO HIS EYE (criminally long, I tell you – and this is also why the ol’ blow trick doesn’t work), and now the hunter (your girl) can gently pull at the base of the lid to loosen the lash from the eyeball and let it move safely back where it belongs.
The closing scene consists of sweet Field blinking through red, blurry eyes in disbelief asking, “Is it gone? Is it over?”
Yes buddy, it’s over.
After we got him back down for bed, the Holy Spirit put a thought on my heart, and I said to Gup, “Do you see what God just did? We are Field. He is pinning us down, making us feel like we can’t move, making us feel like He is torturing us, but He is doing it all so He can work. He is working, and He knows what to do!”
The very next morning, my mentor texted me Psalm 84:11-12 NKJV
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in You!
This short passage is so rich, I want to dig into it line by line and hopefully help us apply it to our lives and tie it back to torturous eyelash hunting. Here we go.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield: He is our warmth, light, energy, strength and protection. In God’s armor we’re taught to put on in Ephesians 6, Paul refers to the shield as the Shield of Faith thwarting the enemy’s arrows. I sometimes struggle with Faith. This verse gives me such hope because I don’t know about you, but faith sometimes feels like it’s up to me to have… but really, HE GIVES FAITH TO US TOO! He IS our shield. We need only ask for Him, and He’s there – protecting and giving us faith.
The Lord will give grace and glory: He will give means this is ongoing, future tense, non-stop. The ESV version says this in present tense, so if we combine the two, it means he’s doing it now, and he’s not gonna stop.
What is grace? I learned somewhere the difference between mercy and grace is that mercy is sparing us from punishment we do deserve and grace is blessing us when we don’t deserve it.
What is glory? We learned in a recent sermon the root word of glory means weightiness or of substance. The Glory of God speaks to His unmatched, weighty supremacy. Because He is the ultimate holder of Glory, only He can give it to us, and when He gave us Jesus, he gave (and GIVES) us glory. The redemption of man is a way to glorify God.
No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly: Does this mean you have to be perfect and do everything right to receive God’s goodness? Heck no. Impossible, btw. And since we’ve just learned He is our sun, shield, giver of grace and glory, why would He uphold us to perfection? This would mean we don’t need Him. What this does mean though is that we try. We put on our new selves, we walk, we trust, we ask for growth, we repent. We WILL stumble. We WILL struggle. But we have faith in this promise: no good thing will He withhold!
A lot of the time it seems like He’s withholding what we think is good, but if we believe this passage, we can trust and know that anything he’s withholding IS NOT FOR OUR GOOD.
O Lord of Hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in you: He is the Lord of all heavenly beings! Those who trust in Him are BLESSED. Simply for trusting in Him over fleeting, worldly things, you are blessed.
Yes duh I know this is easier said than done. Heck, I’ve walked it this week. I’ve confessed and screamed out loud to Him, I do not trust you. Help me trust you!
Just like Field who knows deep down he can trust mommy and daddy to look out for what’s best for him, he instead saw us as a gnarly duo coming guns blazing to pin him down and torture him. When he was on the other side though, he saw that wasn’t the case at all!
Sometimes circumstances might feel and even look like torture, but when we TRUST GOD, we can know He is working for our good. And when we know He is working for our good, we can have faith. We can have hope. We can have joy and peace and love and grace and glory and all the good things that only come from Him! And each of those is always, always worth some temporal torture.
Father God, you are our strength. You are our sun and our shield and the giver of grace and of glory. You are trustworthy and full of goodness and mercy. We forget this a lot. I sure do. When we take our eyes off of you, we can fall hard and fast. Forgive us! Thank you for meeting us right where we stop and turn around. You are always there. When (not if) life gets hard, will you please gently remind us you are not torturing us? Will you help us greet challenging times with open eyes and hearts to receive whatever you are teaching us so we can grow to honor You? You promise us you do not withhold any good thing from those who walk upright. We believe you know what’s good for us more than we do, and when we don’t believe this, help us in our unbelief. We love you and we trust you! In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.
Suggested Scripture for the week:
S/M: Psalm 84:1-2
What comes to mind when you hear the word dwelling place?
T: Psalm 84: 3-4
Write out a shout of praise to the Lord today!
W: Psalm 84:5-7
We are promised suffering. How can you shift perspective to see the refreshing springs that come from the closeness of the Lord in the valley?
Th: Psalm 84:8
Write out the prayer of your heart right now and trust that He will listen!
F: Psalm 84:9-10
Do you believe a single day in the presence of God is better than the “good life” on earth? What does the good life on earth look like? Does it fulfill?
S: Psalm 84:11-12
Memorize this verse this week and ask God to help you apply it to your life!