Holidays: Happy, hard or both?
3.5 minute read
Hard 1: I have a pile of Christmas cards staring at me I cannot for the life of me address. Maybe by the time this post goes live they’ll be finished, but I’m not holding my breath. (Yes, you can play your tiny violin to this pitiful excuse for hard).
Happy 1: Our Christmas card list has grown! We’ve added neighbors we likely wouldn’t have known without The Coco to our list, sweet classmate friends, and the names of our new church small group - families we didn’t know well (or at all) at the beginning of 2020 who now feel like family.
Hard 2: Gup and I both come from divorced families. We are the real life version of Four Christmases. The holidays tend to stir up feelings of angst, sadness, and a melancholy desire things were different.
Happy 2: This means we have the privilege of creating our own traditions with our little foursome because we know (and fortunately every grandparent knows), we simply cannot be with everyone. It’s impossible.
Hard 3: Even with the strangeness of this year, the overwhelm of gifts, events, making it special, traveling, etc. can be the pits.
Happy 3: This year has helped me (and I hope you too!) comb through where it’s ok to say no. Whether this is to people, events, or the pesky voice in my head telling me I’m behind on everything. No!
Hard 4: Too many dear friends and families are in hard financial situations due to unemployment and/or plummeting industries.
Happy 4: This forces a focus on the real joy of the season. Without as much fluff and distraction of the myriad of gifts, the joy has to come from Him alone. If happiness can be forced, the birth of Jesus is the only way it can happen!
Hard 5: School is about to be out for 2 weeks.
Happy 5: This allows for plentyyy of opportunity for making simple, fun Christmas memories. If that stresses you out like it does me, it’s also time for rest. Yeah, remember that word? It’s ok for the kiddos (and you!) to be bored. It’s actually good for us, btw.
So when we look at all of these scenarios, what’s the key factor in the shift from hard to happy?
PERSPECTIVE.
When we can stop, acknowledge the hard, and ask1 Him to give us His eyes,2 we can see the good. We see His good because He’s only good.3,4 Even amidst the hard!
But am I right that sometimes the shift in perspective just won’t come?
Somethimes the hard can be so heavy it feels connected to your bones. More on this at a later date, but I struggle with both anxiety and depression, and the holidays tend to make these lovely conditions grab their megaphone (anxiety) and their Eeyore voice (depression) like woah.
I’m telling you this because I want to level with you - I do not have it all together, and I struggle.
I’m willing to bet you do too.5
So how do we get the funk to lift and shift perspective?
My mentor urged me to envision my perfect Christmas from start to finish, and to write it all down. This seemed wrong to me - all of my perfectionistic tendencies seemed to yell, “Don’t do it! It’s a trap for disappointment!”
After setting the naysaying aside, I did it, and it’s super duper helpful - especially when the hard or the overwhelm won’t lift. And you know why? When we prayerfully consider a lovely Christmas, it likely won’t include 1,000 presents, 2,000 events and 3,000 cocktails. When we pray through and confess those sinful things our hearts desire, we can ask Him to realign said desires to be pleasing to Him. In doing so, He reins us into Him!6
I encourage you to think through your ideal Christmas, and ask Him to help you shift focus off the hard or icky and onto Jesus.
Ok so now, how do we do this?
Pray through what is Important vs. Urgent. I cannot for the life of me remember where I learned this, but when you just can’t see the forest for the trees, this really helps.
Listen to the nudges of what feels silly or too much - this typically applies to something that’s urgent. Listen to the nudges(7) of those things deep in your soul you know you want and need to do - this typically means it’s important.
You’ve got a Holy Spirit who does not want you to feel overwhelmed or heavy!8 He wants you to be LIGHT in all meanings of this word! God fights for us when we are still9 - let him have the chance to do it. Yes we will have hard things10 - this ain’t Pleasantville - but there are also hard and overwhelming things that are completely unnecessary. Let Him show you those!
ALL OF THIS SAID, if you’re the jolliest elf on the block and I’m bringin.you.down. Forgive me! Please, please, for the love, don’t stop spreading that JOY11 and Christmas cheer! We all need it!
Now that we’ve just covered my full stream of consciousness. Let’s rein in it, shall we?
Game Plan for Shifting Holiday Hard toward Holiday Happy
Stop, acknowledge the hard or overwhelming and the feelings to accompany it. Ask Him for His eyes to see it.
Pray through and envision a desired Christmas for your family. Write it down. Don’t hold back! This is between you and God, and He’s not grading your papers.
Approach events, gifts, moments of indecision or overwhelm with what is IMPORTANT v. URGENT in mind.
Rest. Let yourself recharge at least 1x/day right now. There’s zero shame in this. Is it a midday nap, or a run, or a Monday night date? Do that.
When all else fails, stop what you’re doing and repeat his name. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS! Breathe Him in and out. He alone is the reason for the season (you knew that line was coming). Let Him prove it!
Oh Father God! You are so good. You’re only good! You love us so much, and I cannot help but think you chuckle at the hustle and bustle of this season. Will you scoop us up please? Will you pull us into your arms and your lap and bring us back to You? We confess idolizing and chasing after fleeting things, now more than ever. We know the sparkle of the season, the excitement, and the fun are all good gifts from you, God! Let us hold onto them loosely though - experiencing them for the pleasure you intend, not for obsession or for overwhelm! Thank you for December. The month alone is enough to put a smile on our faces. For anyone feeling heavy though, Lord, yoke them to you! Pull their shoulders from their ears and pull the grind from their jaws. You’re with us, you love us, and your Son’s birth is worthy of celebrating BIG. Let us do it in a way that honors you! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Verses referenced herein for further study
Matthew 7:8
Prov 23:26
1 Chronicles 16:34
Mark 10:18
John 16:33
Psalm 139:23
John 14:26
John 14:16
Exodus 14:14
John 16:33
Phil 4:4