The Weekly Rollercoaster
7 minute read
This past Wednesday marked our 9th anniversary. Nine is my favorite number and Crawford is my favorite person, so all in all, it was a great day! I’ll spare you the details of our luxurious and romantic meal for 2 adults, 1 kindergarten boy, and 1 tornado at Dimassi’s Mediterranean Buffet because I wouldn’t want to make anyone envious of how bougie we are, buuuut I will fill you in on what happened afterward.
As we put the kids down for bed, Field’s face looked a little somber. Always the enthusiast, I figured this was because he takes after his dad in that endings of any kind are hard, and in my self-consumption, I thought he was affected by the end of our Anniversary.
Wrong.
After asking him if he was ok, he replied quietly with the slightest tremble in his voice, “I’m a little sad, but I’m not sure why.”
Crawford and I both marveled at his honest response, and we each told him it was ok to feel sad, that we love him so very much and that he could talk to us and to Jesus anytime about feeling sad. After hugs from both of us and the requested extra long hug from dad, we walked out of the room and Gup said, “I don’t think I’ll ever forget this moment.”
The innocence and honesty and reality of one small sentence:
I’m a little sad, but I’m not sure why.
Only in the mysteriously wonderful way God works was it already on my heart to talk about this very thing for this week’s post because I tend to feel a little sad, but I’m not sure why at the beginning of each new week.
Some of you can relate to the following feelings each week:
Sunday morning: Yay, the weekend is still here! Church! Lunch! Naps!
Sunday evening: Dang, the weekend is ending. The Sunday Blues or Sunday Scaries used to be super intense pre-kids, and while they’ve gone down a bit, there is a bit of a sinking feeling when the sun goes down on Sunday.
Monday and Tuesday: Blues. Things are hard. All up in my head dwelling on anxieties and all I need to do this week. Wondering what the heck I’m doing with my life.
Wednesday: I love my job! I love my family! Productivity feels so good! Goal crushing!
Thursday: Who was that chic on Monday/Tuesday? She gone. Goal crushing continued!
Friday: Need I say more?
Saturday: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! (Arsenio Hall, obvi)
Annnnd repeat.
If you’ve read anything about the brain and its patterns (otherwise known as Neuroscience), you’re likely aware a) I am ill-equipped to talk about it and b) there are pathways paved in our brains. While a lot of the time this is how good habits are formed, this is also how we can get stuck in not-so-good habits.
With this in mind, I think these roller coaster/beginning of the week blues patterns began in middle school, heck maybe even in elementary school, with an unnamed awareness of the weekend ending and school and its responsibilities coming Monday morning. The neural pathways in my brain were further paved in high school with bigger, more fun weekends and harder, more demanding responsibilities of school and sports.
Then came college.
Weekends started on Thursdays. The booze flowed hard and heavy until late Saturday night (otherwise known as Sunday morning sunrises). I was never one to partake in Sunday Funday because I typically did not move my body except to eat. Pallets were made, mindless TV was watched, and endless snacks were eaten as we licked our wounds and numbed our brains from any recall of the weekend’s debauchery.
As the sun went down on Sunday, my anxiety went up, up, up. Do I have a test this week? When is that paper due? Ughhhh I have a group project this week.
With every painful thought of looming responsibility came a perfectly rational rebuttal:
I’ll get up early tomorrow morning and study. Pass the pizza.
Sure enough, Monday morning came and so did the snooze button. That button was hit so many times even it knew I was lying.
The remainder of Monday and Tuesday were filled with sweats and anxiety pangs until I made it to Wednesday to somehow make sense of my life.
Then came Thursday, and well, you know the rest.
So while this lifestyle is no longer sustainable because God changed my heart AND I had to grow up, somewhere it got written in my brain this was how to view the week. It has lessened in intensity over time, but I do think this has something to do with why I get the early week blues.
If you’ve read Jennie Allen’s book Get Out of Your Head, she talks about our amazing brain’s power to rewire and re-pave our neural pathways. I read the book over a year ago, but this principle still sticks with me because somehow, somewhere in my flighty little mom brain, I do have information recall, so I say we jump on this and rewire the early week blues… together!
Speaking of together, on Tuesday I shared on Instagram I would be writing on how to combat the early week blues (and rewire those pathways!), and I asked for any tips you all had to tell the unsolicited sadness to hit the road.
I admittedly felt a little embarrassed for sharing that because a) I’m human and b) I was still in my Tuesday headspace. Those of you who responded with “Me too!” and/or shared tips really made me feel less alone, so thank you, thank you!
SO! In the effort of rewiring these pathways together, I’m going to share a compiled list of both secular habits and Biblical habits to help change the mindset. For the record, if you are Susie Sunshine Sunday to Sunday - I salute you, and I hope you’ll find these suggestions helpful for any other loop you might want to rewire.
Let’s get down to biz, shall we? For the record, these are suggestions and do not all have to be done all the time. Pick the ones that stick out to you!
Ways to Rewire the Early Week Blues:
Move Your Body. Stretch. Walk. Run. Sweat. One suggestion was “Intense leg day every Monday. Burn some calories and sleep well from it.” Love it!
Get Organized. Brain Dump your to-do list. Plan your meals for the week. Get organized for the week “Even when I don’t want to do it!” said another wise soul.
Go Outside. I’m a wellness junkie, so I love to ground in the morning. This means going outside barefoot without your phone and walk around in the grass! It’s invigorating. Take sunshine breaks where you just go sit and feel the warm sun.
Notice the Good. Speaking of feeling the warm sun, Neuro Integration Counselor Leanna Rae says it this way, “First, notice the good. This doesn't mean ignoring the ‘bad.’ It simply means we will be highlighting and catching the ‘AND.’ The ‘and’ is a lovely word that can be the antidote for ‘either-or’ stress thinking. Example: "I am feeling overwhelmed (or sad or anxious) AND at this moment, I love how this sunshine feels on my skin.” Sit and breathe in the good for 30 seconds a couple times a day.
Rest. Our culture has it backwards (imagine that, lol), and somewhere along the way we stopped resting, and if we do rest, we see it as recovery from the week behind us vs. rejuvenation for the week ahead of us. Yeah. So. I’m not sure how to rearrange it, but I do think it’s good to keep in mind that we’re not made to just bust our as*es all week and then crash. Instead we should honor our bodies and minds by allowing them to rest for the coming week. More on rest here.
Get off Social Media. Not forever. Though not a bad idea ;) but definitely during these vulnerable times of the week where you feel prone to sadness or anxiety.
Eat a good, slow, nourishing breakfast. I used to punish myself on Monday mornings with a boring or non-existent breakfast, but in the effort of helping my nervous system regulate and slow down, I’ve found it to be more beneficial to make the eggs. Blend the smoothie. Sit and enjoy it! If you’re 10 minutes late, the world will not end. Also, drink a lot of water! This was another wise suggestion to help the body regulate.
Counseling. By God’s grace, my weekly counseling session is on Mondays at 11am, and I highly recommend an early week counseling session if possible! Because let’s be honest, by Thursday, roller coaster Mary Clay can assure anyone I have no problems worth discussing, and ain’t nobody gotten anywhere from sweeping it all under the rug.
Biblical Practices to Rewire the Early Week Blues
In the world according to me, you can pick and choose from the first list, but I think it’s prudent to try to incorporate as many of the following as possible on a regular basis!
Take it to the Cross. Lay it all down at the feet of Jesus. Something that really helps me is to make a list of any past (or current) suffering and on the other side of the page, make a list of how God helped you through it (or is currently helping you through it) for your good. This can be so encouraging!
Meditate, Don’t Dwell. I listened to a podcast this week by Allie Beth Stuckey and David Marvin about Philippians 4 where scripture explicitly tells us do not be anxious about anything, but instead to dwell on things above and on who God is. David speaks on the misconception of this passage and how it might seem flippant to just say “don’t be anxious!” and he goes onto say that anyone - of Faith or not - would agree that ruminating and dwelling upon anxious thoughts leads us to BE anxious and is never a good plan. We can think the thoughts, we are human after all, but the switch here is to shift the mind to meditate upon things above: whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise. Think [meditate] on these things!
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness[d] be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:4-8
In addition to (not in lieu of) meditating on scripture, pump that worship music!
Encourage Someone Else. As I sat at a stoplight on Monday morning heading to my counselor, the idea for this entire post was born. I was a little weepy, and I said to myself, “This loop has got to stop. Lord, what are some ways to rewire my early week blues?” Buzz. I opened my phone to see a text message from the best sissy in the world encouraging me after she read last week’s post. I instantly felt lighter. Ding, ding, ding! Ok God, loud and clear! And if it feels this good to be encouraged… it must mean passing it on would feel as good if not better, right? Right! This can be harder, especially if you’re feeling down, but I promiseeeee it will bear fruit.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Paul gives this message to the Thessalonians after telling them of coming wrath or non-believers. He reminds them they are not children of the darkness, but of the light. This is good news, and we need to encourage each other of it! In the same way, God doesn’t want us dwelling in the darkness of our thoughts or Monday Blues. We are children of the light! Be encouraged we can fight back against the darkness because of what Jesus did.
Find your Peeps. Again, by God’s grace, our small group meets on Tuesday nights. After sitting with these people I love who point right back to Christ for an hour, my soul is instantly lighter. We are a church body designed for community. For the record, I spent a lot of time hiding from Biblical community. Maybe you can relate? If so, I’ve written more on community here.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25
Earlier in this passage, we are assured we can draw near to the throne of grace with a clear conscience because of what Christ has done for our sins. In the same way, while we are guiltless before God, we should still encourage one another toward obedience and Kingdom work! When I feel the “what the heck am I doing here?” feelings to accompany early week blues, this reminder of obedience to God’s word and will is so grounding and refreshing.
Pray. Did you know we are instructed by scripture to pray without ceasing? Because of what Jesus did on the cross for us, we have an open line of communication to God Almighty to give him praise, to thank Him, to confess, and to ask for what we need! He promises that when we are weak (which, I don’t know about you, but I for sure feel weak when I’m in an early week slump) He is strong. As you pray, I suggest doing business with the Lord by way of the Holy Spirit (the ultimate Counselor) to ask yourself…
What is it that you want?
For me, in times of being down and not totally knowing why, it’s because I want one or all of the following things:
Comfort
Ease
Less responsibility
The past/grieving an ending
Escape
The coinciding question would be:
Who am I not believing God to be?
My Comfort
My Helper
Able to sustain me
Giving me a hope and a future
Provider
Sufficient for my needs
Enough!
Now for the really good part…
We can then approach the throne of grace with confidence and confess these worldly wants I’m trying to find outside of Him, and we can pray for God to help rewire our brains to crave and receive HIM as the answer for all of these things because we KNOW He is the only lasting solution.
I want to pause here and thank you for getting this far. This has been a bit of a breakthrough post for me personally because I am realizing this loop is not God’s best for my life! The amazing thing is that He can help us rewire. I am not saying everyday will be roses - heck no - but I am saying there are habits and practices we don’t even realize are harming us, and once we call attention to them and confess them, He can start the healing process.
Before I close, I feel like I should address the elephant in the room: medication. I’ve spoken on my journey with taking anti-anxiety/anti-depressants here, and I want anyone out there who’s struggling with their mental health to know they’re not alone! By God’s grace, I have been off my medicine for almost 6 months now, and while I (clearly) have hard days, I do feel more equipped to handle them thanks in large part to the year of taking the medicine and gathering tools to help my nervous system regulate.
To wrap this all up in a pretty little bow, I’ll close with the next passage in Phillipians 4 after we are taught where to fix our thoughts:
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,[d] who gives me strength. Phil 4:11-13
So. Well. I think that’s the goal, right? To be content in any circumstances! We all throw the “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” around, but did you know it really applies to contentment? Pretty cool, huh?! As with any new thing, be gentle with yourself (myself included) in this attempted rewire. The ultimate goal is contentment in Christ, not in our circumstances, because we all know anything this world gives is fleeting. Trust me, it sound hard to me too, but remember, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us - especially where contentment is concerned! Thank you again for getting this far, and please let me know if you have any questions or feedback.
Dear Lord, as we walk into Thanksgiving week, I pray for our eyes and ears and tongues to be filled with gratitude not only for all of our many blessings but also for who you are. Father, you are our comfort, our rescue, our strong tower, counselor, shelter, a good Father with good plans, our provider full of grace and mercy. God we fall really short sometimes and we start thinking its up to us to be these things. We start thinking we can find contentment on our own or in the world, and really, that’s just not possible. Will you help our brains rewire the loop, Lord? Whatever mental pathway the person reading this is stuck in - will you help them take it one degree closer toward the light and away from the dark? We believe this is possible because of Christ who strengthens us! We love you and thank you for Jesus because it is in His name we pray, Amen.
Suggested Scripture for the Week
S/M:
2 Corinthians 1:3
Do you believe God to be your comfort? What imagery comes to mind when you meditate on this promise?
T:
Psalm 118:5-7
How does it make you feel that God is your helper?
W:
2 Corinthians 12:9
What do you think it means to boast in your weakness? How do you do this without putting on false humility?
Th:
Jeremiah 29:11
What piece of your future are you not trusting the Lord to carry?
F:
Psalm 73:26
What do you think it means for God to be your portion?
S:
Phil 4:11-13
Use today to prepare to fight the early week blues! Choose a verse from above to meditate upon when thoughts start to go into old habits you’re trying to change.